Sunday, April 23, 2017

Beautiful but useless Ottawa earthquake article

Reference


On the whole, I like it when a dying newspaper puts out something like this.  Newspapers live on anxiety, and something like raises the stomach acid.  Ottawa foundations vary from the very best (solid rock) to the very worst (Leda Clay).  The article left out studies that show Leda Clay amplification of 100 times in terms of PGV.


Saturday, April 22, 2017

Add years to your life

I found out that more old people are dying around me.  All are over-weight pear-shaped old men (and ladies).  My final product cures that.  :)

This is the fitness bracelet that will take you permanently to a svelte body.  Enjoy playing with your grandchildren, if the kids ever get off Tinder and do something.  I have chosen the brand new Fitbit Alta rose-gold, because it is so beautiful and expensive that you wouldn't dare let it down.  If you are working at the computer all day, it constantly nags you to get up every hour and do 250 steps.  It has virtual hikes at Yosemite or New York City.  You can issue challenges to your friends and you can't lose because you have Rosey Goldy.



Honestly this is the last one because my wife loves it so much.

Friday, April 21, 2017

More essential stuff

My mercenary streak continues.  The last one was so successful, that I got 2 clicks and one order.  That will probably give me $2.  I will continue in the tone of the famous hammer-schlammer catalogue.

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This is the light you always wanted.  Good for those miserable storage spaces under the stairs and such where you have to go in by flashlight, and never find anything you want.  Charges with a standard usb and only turns on with movement.  The battery is good for months.  Comes off with a magnetic strip for charging.


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This is the bum cream that turns out to be the best hand lotion you'll ever use.  Physics dictates that nothing penetrates our layer of dead skin, or the oxygen would kill us.  So all those super-expensive moisturizers do is put on a layer of oil to slow down the moisture leaving the skin.  This stuff does it better with an exotic polymer.  It is dry, and it provides an extra layer against stuff which dissolves the dead skin layer.  My wife loves it for the hands and keeps stealing the tube.  It is also the best stuff for an embarrassing anal rash which some people I know may or may not have.

Darn!  It's all sold out from Prime where it sells for $7, and all the sleazies have it for $30.  I won't list it.

Found it.



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This is the solar light you've been waiting for.  It has a chance to last a while.  Uses lithium batteries, and it has the latest COB (chips on board) led panels which are super bright.  Brag to your friends.  Soon all led lights will be like this, it has something like 3 times the lumens per watt of the other stuff.



Can't think of anything more.